I have finally found a job (after much confusion and frustration which I might write about in another post) at Chick-Fil-A. The store I will be working at is currently closed for renovations so I am working at a sister store in the meantime. It has been a lesson in humility. The first day I worked I wanted to quite. I remembered all the things I hate about the fast food industry. The grumpy people, the fast pace but the need to still be customer centered, and the not-knowing-what-the-heck-to-do-because-I-haven't-worked-in-two-years. It was challenging. Things are a little better now but I'm still praying that this is temporary, that the Lord will move me somewhere where I feel like I am working toward my goal of being a missionary. Then the Lord reminded me today that in order to be a good missionary I have to know how to serve people. Hence Chick-Fil-a. I know God has a sense of humor.
Other than working I am going to 4 prayer meetings a week as well as several church services. God is teaching me so much and a lot of it has been painful and somewhat intense. I think right now we are working on selfishness and killing it. Not a fun process but definitely a necessary one. I am slowly and begrudgingly admitting that God did have a plan in bringing back to Colorado this year. While I am still not sure what exactly that is I know that it does involve me sitting at His feet and listening to what He has to say. He told me to be a Mary this year and not a Martha. He wants for me to become even more intimate with Him than I was last year. Honestly this has been freaking me out as I do not do transparency well. I don't like for people to get too close. And He wants to get close. Really close. I know that He created every part of me and He already knows everything about me but it still gives me shivers to think about Him wanting to talk and be with me in a different way than I have experienced before. I'm not sure if that is fear of the Lord or just fear of relationship. Maybe both. For now I will trust Him in this and take it a step at a time. He knows what He is doing.
"All of my fears and failures I lay them down for something more For more, for more of You All that this world can offer I give it all away for more For more, for more of You." -More by Urban Rescue
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