Into My Own

Into My Own

ONE of my wishes is that those dark trees, So old and firm they scarcely show the breeze, Were not, as ’twere, the merest mask of gloom, But stretched away unto the edge of doom.   I should not be withheld but that some day         5 Into their vastness I should steal away, Fearless of ever finding open land, Or highway where the slow wheel pours the sand.   I do not see why I should e’er turn back, Or those should not set forth upon my track         10 To overtake me, who should miss me here And long to know if still I held them dear.   They would not find me changed from him they knew— Only more sure of all I thought was true. Robert Frost

Change

Change.... that glorious thing that happens even if you want to hold onto your current circumstances forever. I realize that it can be a good thing, but like most good things it is hard to experience. I was looking at my old facebook pictures tonight and I realized how much has changed in the last two and a half months. I am not the same person that came to Colorado in September. A part of me is sad thinking about this, mostly because I know that things will never be the same. I will never be able to go back and be that person, or have those experiences. 

 Me, Taylor, Sammie, Reagan, and Kat  at Desperation

Me and my Bff Nicole at VBS this summer

Sara, Me, Reagan, and Sammie at Church Camp this Summer

Mostly what I am mourning is the change in friendships. My friends back home will have changed too and while that is not such a big deal if you live the change with them, it is a big deal if you are over 300 miles apart going through it. There will be inside jokes that I won't ever understand. There are going to be stories that I will tell them that I think are hilarious that they will find only slightly amusing; people that I will tell them about that they will probably never meet. It is just all so weird to think about. It seems as if when I left Amarillo, life there should have just stopped and waited for me to come back. That seems so selfish to say, seeing it written out. But that is how I feel at the moment, nostalgic, sad, and homesick.

Growing up is hard, and people try to tell you that but you don't really listen because you are so worried that it will never actually happen to you. Then when it finally does happen to you, you just want to go back to being a kid. Ain't life funny? 

I have met so many awesome people here in DLA and I can't imagine life here without them. I love how we are one big family, that even if you aren't particularly close to someone you can still count on them. I have grown so much since September. I am closer to God and I am growing in my relationship with Him daily. I'm overcoming my fear, failures and learning to be the person that God has called me to be. I would not trade this experience for anything. But at the same time a part of me wishes I could be at home too. 

Jill, Me, Sarah, and Christina at the DLA Barn dance

Me and my new best bud Sarah at the pumpkin patch

 

Kasie, Marisela, and me at the DLA retreat 

Tess, me and McKenna dressed as 80's girls for halloween

Kinsey,Me, Sarah, Madison, Tuyet, and Lauren

 Who knows where God will take me after DLA? I might go to college somewhere even farther from Texas, I might be a missionary to a foreign country. I have no idea where God might lead me, but I do that I have been incredibly blessed to live the life that I have. Even with all the changes and hardships, its all been worth it. 

Been A While....

Hey guys sorry I haven't posted in a while. We had Coram Deo 2 weekends ago and then I got sick. Since I got sick I spent last weekend catching up on all the things I didn't get done. I'll try to post this weekend.