I close my eyes and go back in time...

As I write this I'm sitting on my front porch listening to Souvenirs by Switchfoot.  This song makes me think back to the last 10 years of my life. So much has changed in that time. I have grown from preteen to teen, and from teen to young adult. 

When I was younger I used to daydream about what my life would be like when I was older. "What kind of adult will I be?" I used to wonder. Will I have money? Will I have lots of friends or a boyfriend? Will I drive a nice car? What will my job like? So many questions about the future. 

Well the future has arrived and the answers surprise me. I had hoped that by age 20 I would be in college and well on my way to a degree, that I would have my own apartment and be completely self sufficient.  I had also hoped that I would've found "the one" by now. Not only has none of that happened yet, but it won't happen for several more years to come. I am leaving the city I have grown up in and around for a place that is strange and new and mountainous. I worry that I will forget all the familiar things and people here, that Colorado will make me forget where I have come from and how uniquely awesome it is, But at the same time I'm scared I will be so home sick I won't enjoy all the awesome things Colorado has to offer. I know that those are weird things to worry about, but at the moment these are my pressing thoughts. I don't want to forget my "Souvenirs."

But God has put me on a path I could have never imagined. And that is turning out to be a wonderful thing.

The stubborn part of me does still wish for some of those things, but I am beginning to realize that God's future for me is much greater than what I was capable of imaging at age 10 or even now, at age 20. It makes me think of that verse in 2 Corinthians 2 "What no eye has seen, What no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived-- the things God has prepared for those who love Him."

That is kind of spectacular when you think about it. God loves us so much that He has all these great plans for us, such great things that our human minds cannot begin to understand them. When I think about that, it makes it easier to trust Him, because He has my best in mind. 

I used to think I had my best in mind but I've grown to realize that really, what I can come up with as best is crap compared to God's best.  My "best" tends to be the easy way out, with little to no work involved. God's best is hard work and can be extremely challenging, but the rewards always far out weigh the risk. 

When Will I Learn?

Yesterday I was freaking out because I still needed $69 for my deposit. I had several conversations with my dad about how I should get the money and what I was going to do if I didn't get it. Every time we talked he just kept telling me "If God wants you to go, He will provide the money, stop worrying." I (being the worry wart that I am) just kept saying, "Yes I know but.."
Well I made a phone to a friend I hadn't seen in a while and she invited me over to hang out and catch up. Later I as I was leaving she gave me a check for $200. I'm pretty sure I heard God say right then "I told you so." When will I finally get this faith thing down? When will I reach the point in my relationship with God when I trust Him to take care of the big and the small in my life? I think part of the reason God has called me to go to DLA is to learn to trust Him. I hope that for my sake, I learn quickly.

Beginnings

So I decided to start this blog mostly because people keep asking me to keep them updated on what is happening in my life and with DLA. I figured that a weekly blog would be a good way of doing that.
 This week I had to have my $500 deposit in. I have to have that in by tonight actually and I am still $69 short. If I get nothing else out of this experience, I will at least have a strong prayer life.