Obedience

Obedience
By George MacDonald
(1824-1905)

I said: “Let me walk in the fields.”
He said: “No, walk in the town.”
I said: “There are no flowers there.”
He said: “No flowers, but a crown.”

I said: “But the skies are black;
There is nothing but noise and din.”
And He wept as He sent me back –
“There is more,” He said; “there is sin.”

I said: “But the air is thick,
And fogs are veiling the sun.”
He answered: “Yet souls are sick,
And souls in the dark undone!”

I said: “I shall miss the light,
And friends will miss me, they say.”
He answered: “Choose tonight
If I am to miss you or they.”

I pleaded for time to be given.
He said: “Is it hard to decide?
It will not seem so hard in heaven
To have followed the steps of your Guide.”

I cast one look at the fields,
Then set my face to the town;
He said, “My child, do you yield?
Will you leave the flowers for the crown?”

Then into His hand went mine;

And into my heart came He;

And I walk in a light divine,

The path I had feared to see.

Obedience to the Lord is something I struggle with. Especially lately when He has been calling me to give Him all that I cling to that isn't Him. He keeps gently reminding me that I have to love others with His love and that means getting involved in the messy parts of other people's lives. I normally run from people with obvious emotional wounds.  I have been hurt deeply by people like that in the past and it was (and still is) something that I never want to go through again. Because in order to help them you have to be vulnerable and let them in your heart. You have to love them deeply and to love them deeply you have to get down in the filth and mire and help them see that there is another way. You have to love unconditionally and expose the vulnerable parts of your heart. This makes me want to run. I want to walk in the flowers and sunshine of my own life without having to worry about other people.

Whenever I feel like running away (which, sadly, is often) Jesus reminds me that He came and reached into the mess of my life and made me new. He didn't look at all the wounds and filth and say "You are just too dirty. I am sorry but you're on your own." Instead He came and took all of that on Himself. He knelt down and washed my feet and made me clean. Now He calls me to do the same; to love those that are broken and hurting, those who are lost and alone. He wants me to go and tell others who He is and what He has done for me. So step by step I am learning to walk in this. Even though this terrifies me I am learning to trust in Him and His love. I am so thankful for a patient, loving, God that walks with us in our struggles.